Going Hermit And Finding Your Way Out

I was pleasantly surprised when an estranged friend agreed to connect on a call over the weekend. It wasn’t something she’d do normally.

She had gone into hibernation, resurfacing occasionally to respond to my texts with “I am fine, thank you,” or maybe “wish you the same.” My calls would often go unanswered and remain unreturned.

I knew she had lost quite a few connections over the years, a confession she’d never shied away from. And “I don’t feel like talking,” is all she’d say in her defense.

But after all this time, I was still there, because I understood, or perhaps I could relate (who would understand an Aquarian better than another Aquarian!).

Emotional burnout and its physical manifestations are something many of us go through whether we realize it or not. While we all devise our own coping mechanisms to keep as much energy as possible from leaking, some people completely shut down to hold on to whatever’s left of it.

But here’s a thing about going hermit, at the outset, it may loom inevitable and almost involuntary, but if we stay in there for too long, coming out of it can loom challenging.

Getting into the hermit mode is what puts things into perspective, helps us heal what’s broken, and soothe what’s been shaken. Isn’t that what the “Hermit card” in the tarot deck talks about? A long, isolated path of soul-searching and answer-seeking, but sometimes some of us get lost on the path, finding it hard to figure our way out.

While no two journeys are identical, if you find yourself treading the hermit path, here is what can help you from getting lost in, what may seem like, a dark endless tunnel:


Disconnecting is paramount, especially when it’s that nagging affect you can’t seem to shake off. Now how you do it, is your call.

Building healthy boundaries with people you know are takers or energy vampires and even with the ones you love is absolutely okay, you need to have enough reservoirs in the first place to be able to spend on others.

So, you don’t want to take calls? Great, don’t! Don’t feel like meeting anyone? Okay! Want to be a total recluse? Go ahead, it’s your choice to make. Leave a “one-liner” for the person or maybe not. Either way, the ones who matter won’t mind (well, at least we hope they don’t).

For the most part, I don’t think we get to choose this path, we just find ourselves walking it. And if you do, just keep going, unapologetically.


It’s implied, we disconnect to self-connect. And in that solitude, we’re our own companions, in fact the best companion we could ever ask for, though it may not feel that way, in the moment.

Deciphering every thought, trying to make sense of the world around you, getting ruthlessly hit by epiphanies after epiphanies, living the contrast of being able to see clearly and also feeling lost and stuck at the same time, If you’ve been through it all or are currently experiencing it, you’d know what I am talking about. 

But here’s the catch, self-connect doesn’t always mean complete isolation, it can take many shapes and forms, and YOU always have the discretion.

Selectively Connect:

It shouldn’t come as a surprise if you find self-connect addictive. The more we remain enveloped in ourselves, the more we like to stay that way.

I see it as a love-hate relationship with oneself – sometimes it feels good, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s up to us to be perceptive enough to know when it doesn’t.

If you’ve been indoors, living like a recluse and the isolation seems to be doing more harm than good, know it’s time to intervene in the process a little. Just a little!

Intermittently connecting with a friend or a sibling over a pot of coffee can be factored in.

It doesn’t even have to be about people, it can be as simple as taking yourself shopping or on a solo trip.

You can test the waters, see what feels right, and go from there.

Tell you, sometimes the universe aligns you with what will bring you out of the hiatus. You just need to discern the synchronicities.

Your Return:

It’s hard to tell when our hermit journey is going to end, which may feel like a bummer I won’t lie, but it’s also a fact that this voyage can’t be rushed.

Still, you’d always know in your heart when it’s time to return to the new world, whatever that world means to you.

But rest assured, you won’t return the same!

Wherever you are in your journey, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.


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